I don't like the Packers. Actually, that's wrong. I hate the Packers. And I hate Brett Farve.
Brett Farve is precisely why I'm happy I have to watch the Vikings at a bar. And, I hope you realize that, since I'm in Washington, D.C., watching Vikings games at a bar means fighting for one of six seats from which you can see the one TV showing the game. And it's never Vikings fans I'm jockeying for position with either. It means being the lone person who gets upset when Bears/Cowboys/Eagles/Giants/Jets fans convince the bartender that the one TV showing the Purple should join the countless others showing their game. However, it also means that the bar never has the sound on from the Vikings game. And that means I don't have to hear announcers fall all over themselves to talk about how Farve is a gun slinger, a true competitor, a guy who just plays for the love of the game. I don't have to hear them give Farve the Derek Jeter treatment, giving him credit for records he doesn't have (such as most consecutive games started) or telling me that awful interception he just threw was because he was just trying to make a play, a comment normally used to condemn other quarterbacks, but always used positively about Farve. Instead, I can just sit, blissfully, while quietly drinking myself into oblivion and praying Pat Williams breaks Farve's knees and listen to some other game as the Vikings find some new way to lose in a painful manner.
I hate Farve because he's not what they say he is. He doesn't always put the team first. He cares about things other than winning. He's perfectly willing to put himself, or his friends ON OTHER TEAMS first. There was his "bootleg" to Strahan's side in 2002, something for which no video exists online and something no announcer ever mentions on TV, because Farve is a competitor GOD DAMMIT. HE WILL KILL HIMSELF IF IT MEANS A WIN. Which is why he had no problem with his coach calling four pass plays so Farve could tie Marino's record when the Packers were on the goal line with 5 minutes to go last Sunday, down four points. That series included two separate plays on possessions where the Packers had the ball on the 1 inch line, with my favorite play call being the 4th down play where the Packers lined up with Farve alone in the backfield and 5 receivers despite the fact the nose of the ball was half an inch from the goal line.
And I hate Farve because no one ever mentions the fact that he is two interceptions away from tying George Blanda's mark for interceptions thrown in a career. In the last five regular seasons, Farve has, on average, thrown at least two interceptions in a game, six times a season and he's averaged more than two games where he has thrown at least three interceptions.
So all I ask of the Vikings on Sunday is that they get Farve to 277 career interceptions. I know no one will mention it in the media, but when Antoine Winfield or Darren Sharper gets that 277th interception, I'll know. And the fact I'm watching the game on the smallest TV in the bar while wedged between two Pat Williams sized Bears fans won't matter, because Farve will have thrown more interceptions than anyone else.