Sunday, October 29, 2006

Please Fire Sean Salisbury

Before I get into tonight’s big game, I just wanted to take a moment to beg the members of the internet community to please, please, please set up If there is justice in this world, he will get canned. I just watched him answer a fact or fiction this morning on faltering starting quarterbacks and I'm never going to be able to unsee what I just witnessed.

First, he was asked if Chaz Batch should replace Ben Roethlisberger. (Is it Chaz now? Or is he still going by Charlie? Remember when he was just a young buck and starting for the Lions? He was so cute then.) His answer? FICTION. Big Ben is a WINNER! How soon we forget about the Super Bowl! (I didn't--Big Ben had an historically awful performance). You have to let starters play through the rough spots!

Next, Salisbury addressed the Jaguars QB situation. Obviously, it’s FICTION that David Gerrard should start. Byron Leftwich is a WINNER! It doesn’t matter that Gerrard is more mobile. Leftwich is a WINNER! He might have some rough spots, but he knows how to win! (Do you see a trend forming?)

The next question he “answered” was about the Chiefs. Should Trent Green start when he returns from his injury? FACT! Trent Green is a WINNER. You have to go with your starter here. Damon Huard has played well, but he’s no Trent Green. Green is a WINNER.

At this point, I was just staring at the TV in disbelief. Thankfully, there was only one more to go, and it revealed a lot about the train wreck that is Sean Salisbury: Football Analyst.

The last question concerned the other benching that occurred this week—Sage Rosenfels replacing David Carr at halftime of the Texans-Titans game. So, Sean Salisbury—is it fact or fiction that David Carr should remain benched? FICTION!!!!!!!!!!! He just needs to work through the rough spots! He doesn’t have as many as I did! He’ll work through it if you give him time!

See what he did there? He gave us a peak into his mind. And in his mind, Sean Salisbury is not the awful backup QB that he was in reality. No, in his mind, Sean Salisbury was a stud QB who just didn’t get the support that he needed. He just needed some time to work through the “rough spots because he was a winner. A WINNER. It is a FACT! It is FICTION that Sean Salisbury was a joke of a quarterback. FICTION I SAY!!!!

Ok. Breath TBird. Breath.

Alright, now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, it’s time to focus on tonight’s game. Richard Seymour traveled with the Patriots, but he's still questionable. His ability to impact the game will be the major factor in the Vikings’ success. We know that the Vikings’ defense is good, but we also know that the offense has to be competent for the Purple to win. And in order for them to be competent, they have to be able to run the ball. If Seymour is out, or his injury renders him ineffective, the Vikings’ offense will be successful and the Vikings will win. If he’s 100%, it’s going to be a lot harder for them to run the ball and the Vikings’ are going to need a big play out of their special teams (Paul Ferraro has been picking Bethel Johnson’s brain) and defense (the Patriots top two guards aren’t playing) in order to win. I think they get them. And so I think that the Vikings are going to pull it out, 20-17, officially announcing their status as a Super Bowl contender.

1 comment:

Pacifist Viking said...

Two years ago, if special teams were going to determine the outcome of a game between these two teams, then obviously the Patriots would win easily.

But now the Vikes have a solid kick returner in Johnson, a solid punt returner in Moore, good punter in Kluwe, good kicker in Longwell, and ok coverage. In a close game between teams with some similarities (in strengths and weaknesses), special teams could be a factor, and that could go the Vikes' way.