Thursday, December 08, 2005

The Football Gods Hate the Vikings

The Football Gods must have decided to help the Vikings after the Carolina game. There' s really no other way to explain why the Vikings are getting every break possible when it comes to their opponents' quarterback. Last week, they played the Lions right after they switched coaches and quarterbacks. The week before, they got to play the Browns at home, with a quarterback angry that his rookie backup was getting snaps and a rookie backup who managed a 100% completion the Vikings. They've also gotten to face Joey, "The Two Turnover Guarantee" and Brett "Force the Throw" Favre. And the only legitimate signal caller they've faced, Eli Manning, had a bad case of the sucks that weekend.

And now, instead of having to face Mark Bulger, they instead get to face rookie Ryan Fitzpatrick, from Harvard. And I have to say, the Greatest Show on Turf definitely loses a little bit of it's luster when it has a Division 1-AA player under center.

So why do the Vikings keep getting these breaks? Personally, I think it's because the Football Gods want Mike Tice to coach the Vikings next year. They know that if he makes the playoffs, he has a good shot at getting a new contract. They also know that the only way this Vikings team is going to win is if they create turnovers. And since the Football Gods want the Vikings to win, they are ensuring that their opponents quarterbacks are always on the wrong side of crap.

Now, you may ask, why would the Football Gods want Mike Tice to keep his job? The short answer is that they hate the Vikings. The long answer is that they want the Vikings to remain the most star crossed team in the NFL and having Mike Tice as the head coach is a great way to do that. And that's why the Vikings have only faced bad quarterbacks since the Football Gods have gotten involved.

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